My Shadow in the Sun, Part Five

by J. Rosemary Moss

Genre: Slash Fiction
Rating: Mature Content

LINK TO PART ONE: http://jrosemary.blogspot.com/2007/12/my-shadow-in-sun.html

~

I stayed by the table as Jeremy walked to the center of the room. His gait was awkward, and not merely because of the cane he used. He seemed to be shaking as well.

He was all nerves, I realized. That didn't bode well for his audition. But that was for the best, wasn't it? With luck, he would give up his quest to play Richard and allow me to find him some bit part.

When he reached the center of the room, he took a moment to peer at me. His gaze was steady, even if his body still seemed to quake. I noticed that he didn't have a script with him: he knew these lines, at least, by heart.

I watched him take a deep breath as his face seemed to grimace. But that grimace became an amused sneer as he began:

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York,
And all the clouds that loured upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

He was speaking too fast, I noticed, and he wasn't projecting. But apart from that, he wasn't bad. I moved away from the table so that I could lean back against the wall as I watched him.

His voice grew stronger as he described the recent success of his older brother and the peace that was sweeping the land. He made sport of Edward as he insisted that warriors now had nothing better to do than to dance for the ladies to the seductive sound of the lute.

His face still had that grimace--but it didn't hurt him in the role. On the contrary, it seemed to sum up Richard's sneer. But then I noticed that he was drooling. This was no part of the act, I realized. This was courtesy of his cerebral palsy.

He noticed the drool himself at the same instant. He paused abruptly as he wiped it off his face. I could see that he was furious with himself. His cheeks turned scarlet and for a moment I thought he would stomp back to his seat, embarrassed and angry.

But he stayed put. He even managed to laugh off the drool and to stay in character as Richard described himself and explained why he wasn't made 'to court an amorous looking glass':

I, that am curtailed of this fair proportion
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinished, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them--
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to see my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity.

He was still speaking too fast--my critical brain couldn't help but notice that. But that didn't matter. We could teach him to slow his words. But he was a natural when it came to playing up Richard's vulnerability and self-contempt.

The other actors treated Jeremy to a loud, encouraging round of applause as he finished. I was pretty sure they all knew that his disability was the real thing: Sheila would have seen to that. But there was no sympathy in this applause--it was strictly for his performance.

I don't think Jeremy realized that. He didn't know how to handle their appreciation--he just gave them a curt nod and then limped back to his seat, keeping his eyes on the floor as he walked.

I shook my head. Had he really been acting up there? Or did Jeremy understand Richard's failings because of his own wounded pride?

Sean must have had the same thought. Suddenly he was at my side, whispering into my ear. "He's either brilliant or he's got a chip on his shoulder as big as Richard's," he said.

"That's true," I muttered back. "But does it matter which it is? If he can keep this up, Sean, I'll have to take him. I'm not going to turn away someone who knows first-hand what it's like to deal with Richard's handicaps."

Sean sighed but at length he nodded. "I know. I'll even help you work with him. Let's hope we can slow him down and teach him to project."

I knew what it cost Sean to make that offer--he rarely gave up a lead role without a fight. I smiled at him and put my arm around his shoulders. "Thank you," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," he returned. "Save it until we figure out just what we're dealing with."

LINK TO PART SIX: http://jrosemary.blogspot.com/2007/12/my-shadow-in-sun-part-six.html