Second Chances by Qzeebrella

Title: Second Chances
Author: Qzeebrella
Genre: AOS/Star Trek XI, Spock-McCoy
Rating:PG
Summary: Spock prime tries to fight off what he feels upon seeing this universe's McCoy...

~oOo~

I had just turned to board the ship bound for the Vulcan colony when I spotted him. Len, my Len and yet not mine. So very young and vibrant and alive. Younger now than when we first met and he was looking right at me.

I swallowed hard. I wanted to go to him. Wanted to touch him and talk to him and just drink him in. But he wasn't mine and no matter how much I longed to go to him, I couldn't. For if I did, I might steal him for myself and rob the other me of him.

Besides, he'd probably see me as just another Vulcan elder. One possibly related to Spock.

"Spock!" That beloved voice shouted and he ran to me.

"You know who I am? The other Spock told you?"

"The other Spock? No. I recognized you," Len said. "I looked over and saw you and thought my eyes were playing tricks on me at first, but then I realized you were Spock. Why do you say, 'the other Spock?' Are you telling me you're not the pointy eared hobgoblin I know?"

"Yes. I am another. From another universe. Transferred here through space and time."

"And dimensions. Or whatever it is that separates universes. I'm not a quantum physicist."

"No, you are a doctor."

"And you're all alone," Len said and reached one hand out to squeeze my arm and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"Oh god. I'm sorry." Len wrapped his arms around me. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Please. If you keep holding me like this, I will want to make you mine. Like you were before."

"Really? I mean really?" Len said. "You and I were together? And you'd be tempted to make me yours now?"

"Yes. But you are not my Len. And I'd be stealing you from him. From myself."

"We're not together. Him and I."

"Not yet. But you could be, in time, and I can't rob him of the possibility," I said, trying to gather up the strength needed to push McCoy away. "I came to cherish you. So very much. With all I was and you, the other you, made life precious. And you could become so to him. He deserves to have that."

"So do you and this Spock, he's not quite you. Your lives are different and he might find someone else he could cherish just as much as you could, maybe, cherish me, even though I'm not quite your Len."

I swallowed hard, then shook my head. “He’ll never find someone as good for him as you would be. The other you completed me. Made me whole and there is no one else in the universe who could do that for him. He deserves to know how good it feels to have you in his life, as I had you." I breathed Len's familiar scent in and out, allowed myself to soak in Len's presence. "But I don’t know if I can let you go, now that I’m holding you in my arms and letting myself feel you. You are much like him. You feel like him. And I could distinguish you and yet cherish you, but I am much older than you."

"I know. About 150, maybe 160. It's hard for me to tell, even with all the studying I've been doing on Vulcans since meeting, well, you. But, if what I've read is right, you have at least another 100 years to you, even with your mixed blood and I have only just that."

Spock felt the tears fall out of his eyes. "A bit more than that, if your life follows that of my Leonard. But, the other Spock needs you. Just as I needed you."

“Maybe and maybe not. But I’m not letting you go. Not when there’s no guarantee the Spock in this universe will even want me, much less love me, the way you did me. The way you might be able to love this me, even though I‘m not him.”

I stood still, holding Len, trying to think logically. This McCoy was different from mine. The eyes were different, but his essence, the thing that made McCoy McCoy and thus beloved to me was the same. This McCoy was so young. So vibrant. So alive. And willing to accept me for all I was, just as my Len had. And we could have a hundred years together, or more. Together. As one. We were once and could be again. I could love this McCoy. I could cherish him. I could accept that this McCoy wasn’t the one I knew. I could accept that this McCoy was different and yet just as worthy of being loved. Just as easy to love. Everything in me yearned to make him mine.

But it would be stealing him from the other Spock.

“No it wouldn’t, you green blooded bastard.” Leonard said. “You aren’t stealing me from him! He doesn’t have me! You do!”

And I KNEW. Knew it was too late. For if Len could say that to me, could know what I had been thinking, then it was too late. I had somehow made this Len his. And I wanted to regret doing so. Wanted to feel guilty for stealing him from the Spock of this universe. But I couldn’t. For Len was mine and though I would miss the Len from my universe forever, I couldn’t pass up the chance to have this one as mine. I couldn’t give him up.

And tears fell from my eyes. From grief for my Len. From joy at holding another, just as cherished. From getting a second chance. For not getting onto the Vulcan ship a moment too soon. For the Spock of this universe and for all he had lost, all I myself had lost and gained and lost and gained in just this one moment Len became mine. Again. And forever.

~The End~