by J. Rosemary Moss
Genre: Slash Fan-Fiction (Bonanza)
Rating: PG-13
LINK TO PART ONE
~
"David," Ben began, "You’re about to become my stepson. I think it’s time for you to take the gloves off. You don’t have to sit there and force yourself to be civil—and you don’t have to sit there and feed me a prepared speech. If you dislike me, or if you dislike the notion of me marrying your mother, come right out and say so."
David folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head at Ben. "I don’t think you’ll be happy with my mother," he said bluntly. "Not unless you’re willing to give her considerable space. She’s not one to dote on a husband. So if you’re looking for a woman who will devote herself to you, you’d be better off looking elsewhere."
"I’m not looking for a woman to devote herself to me," Ben returned evenly. "I’ve been married to three strong-willed women, David; each of whom knew their own mind and each of whom had their own interests and pursuits."
"Did any of those women demand their own residence?" David countered.
Ben smiled. "No," he owned. "But your mother and I both know how to compromise."
David shrugged. "I hope so. I do wish you joy, sir. I want my mother to be happy. And I want you to be happy. But I don’t want you to think that just because you’re married to my mother you can turn around and try to play ‘father’ to me."
"And you think that’s what I’ll do?" Ben asked.
"You told me yourself that you wouldn’t be able to resist a fatherly lecture now and again. And I’ll give you good cause to deliver one—Adam can tell you just how trying I am."
"If you know that you’re trying, why do you mind the thought of a lecture or two?" Ben asked curiously, still smiling a little.
"As it happens, it’s not the thought of the lecture that bothers me," David confided. "God knows I’ve received enough of them from Adam. I presume he’s gets his tyrannical disposition straight from you, sir."
Ben raised his eyebrows at the casual way David spoke of a ‘tyrannical disposition.’ Neither he nor Adam were in the least tyrannical. They just tended to know what was best for the people they loved; that was all. Ben longed to explain that to David, but somehow he forced himself not to interrupt.
"But a lecture from Adam is one thing," David continued. "While a lecture from you is something else. I know that you would liked to have had the schooling of me when I was younger—and I think that’s because, in the back of your mind, you believe that if you had raised me, I wouldn’t—I wouldn’t, ah, be attracted to other men. And that would have suited you better, since you blame me for swaying Adam."
The words came out haltingly, but that didn’t rob them of their impact. And even though David had spoken the words without emphasis or malice, Ben felt like he’d been punched in the gut.
He supposed that David was right. He had thought, in the back of his mind, that he could have changed the boy. And he also caught himself thinking, yet again, that if Adam had never met David, he would have settled down with some nice girl.
But Adam had had over thirty years to settle down with some nice girl. It hadn’t happened yet.
Ben spoke his thoughts. "You’re right—I suppose I did think that. Or, at least, I thought that if your father had been in your life to set an example for you, you would have been—"
"Normal?" David inquired.
Ben sighed. "David, it’s not only that. When you first came to the Ponderosa, you were playing some sort of game against Adam—you were trying to ruin him, weren’t you?"
David flushed at that. "Yes," he owned. "I wanted revenge for something I thought he had done. I intended to seduce him and make sure you found out about it—I wanted to drive him apart from his family."
He paused and sighed. "But I was already half in love with him then. I just didn’t realize it. And I—I tried to warn him. I told Adam that if he didn’t send me away, I’d succeed in ruining him. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself."
"But you didn’t ruin him and you didn’t drive him apart from his family," Ben pointed out.
"Haven’t I?" David asked. "Oh, not from Little Joe, perhaps. But will you ever look at Adam the same way again? Will Hoss?"
"I think Hoss has already come to terms with you and Adam," Ben said frankly. "It’s not in Hoss’s nature to stand in judgment over anyone—especially his older brother. And I’m proud of Adam. I’m proud of him for not sending you away when you told him to."
David narrowed his eyes at him. "Why?"
"Because I know my son. I know that he sees the best in the people he cares about. He must have seen something in you, David—something that told him that you were better than what you pretended to be. That there was more to you than a devious mind bent on revenge."
David looked away from him but said nothing. He didn’t have to speak though—Ben could see that his words had struck home. He decided to press his advantage.
"I love my son," he said simply. "And I always will—and the fact that he’s chosen to spend his life with you won’t change that. And in the end, the real reason I’d have wanted to, ah, ‘have the schooling of you,’ would have been to prove that a father’s love can be just as warm and unconditional as your mother’s."
Ben paused and took a deep breath. "You are family, David. You haven't driven Adam away from us; you've just driven yourself to us. Now, let’s not talk about the money again. Please accept it—and accept us."
David took his sweet time about responding, but at length he turned back to Ben with a resigned smile. "Very well, Mr. Cartwright. I’ll take the money—and I’ll put up with you lecturing me or scolding me as you see fit. Just don’t expect me to take your strictures gracefully."
Ben smiled back at him. "I won’t," he assured him. "And don’t worry—I’ll attempt to curb my, ah, 'tyrannical disposition.'"
"Don’t bother," David told him, with a wink and a self-deprecating grin. "It’s part of what makes you and Adam so damnably appealing."
LINK TO PART 105
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