The New Hand, Part Ninety-Four

by J. Rosemary Moss

Genre: Slash Fan-Fiction (Bonanza)
Rating: PG-13

LINK TO PART ONE

~

"I heard them calling out to me."

David glanced down at Adam, whose head was still resting on his shoulder. "What was that?"

"I heard them calling out to me," Adam repeated in a flat tone. "My family, I mean. They were looking for me by then. Pa was firing a rifle not far from me and hollering my name. I heard him—but I couldn’t answer. I hadn’t had any food or water and my voice was dry and cracked."

He paused in order to shift his position, so that he was sitting up next to David rather than leaning on his shoulder. "I had tried a mad attack on Kane, to no purpose—I was too weak to accomplish anything. Then I tried running from him again, to get to my Pa, but that was also pointless."

He paused again to sigh. "That’s when Kane raped me—he bound me again first, but it wouldn’t have mattered if he hadn’t. I didn’t care any more. Knowing that my family was that close to me and that there was nothing I could do to signal them robbed me of any shred of hope I might have had. I figured I’d be dead by the next day or so anyway."

David felt himself swallow hard as the full horror of Adam’s situation hit him—the dehydration, the starvation, the rape. And through it all, Kane playing his sadistic games.

"The strange part was that he was almost tender toward me afterwards," Adam continued. "For a little while, anyway. I can remember him stroking my hair and putting his hand on my cheek."

That chilled David more than everything else Adam had described. "How—how can you not hate him?" he asked.

Adam shrugged. "I don’t know. Maybe because he was so clearly unhinged. Maybe because—because if I do start hating him, it will mean that he won. It will mean that I—that I can be driven to hatred and cruelty and even murder. But maybe he already proved that. I half strangled him, after all."

"That wasn’t murder, that was self defense," David said at once. "You were fighting for survival against a madman who had been sadistically torturing you. There’s no way to compare that to murder. Besides, you did what you could to save Kane afterwards."

Adam smiled at that. "You’re an excellent salve to my conscious, did you know that?"

David smiled back and took Adam’s hand in his own. "You’re family would be too, you know. I wish you’d tell them. I wish you’d let yourself see how much they’d admire you for surviving—and for not despising Kane."

To David’s surprise, Adam didn’t immediately object. "We’ll see," he said instead. Then he leaned over and kissed David—a long, drawn out kiss, David noted with satisfaction.

"I have to go out on guard duty," Adam told him.

David nodded, hating the fact that he couldn’t stand watch himself. That fact was almost more annoying than all the petting and cosseting he’d had to put up with.

"I’ll check on you before I turn in," Adam continued. "Don’t try to get out of this bed in the meanwhile, or you will find yourself over my knee."

David laughed. "That sounds distinctly like a challenge."

Adam gave him a serious look. "Wait till you’re a little better before you challenge me."

"I will," David promised. "Adam—why don’t you sleep in here for tonight? I know I’m not up to doing anything interesting, but I’d appreciate you just being here. Unless you think that your Pa would be furious."

"I’m not worried about my Pa—I think he’d understand right now," Adam answered. "But I am worried about jostling your shoulder."

David gave him a wry smile. "You didn’t sound worried about jostling my shoulder when you threatened me just now."

Adam grinned. "I would have had to wait, I suppose, to carry out the threat."

"By which time I’d be strong enough to fight back," David noted.

But Adam shook his head at that. "You know I’m right—your conscience would force you to submit."

David laughed again. "Not likely—I don’t think getting out of bed is a serious enough crime. But I’ll allow you that fantasy."

Adam just tousled his hair in response as he got up from the bed. "Get some sleep for now—I’ll come back later and spend the remainder of the night. But I won’t wake you up and I’ll do my best not to jostle you."

"Fair enough," David agreed. "Good night." And then he shut his eyes as Adam left the room, thinking once again that Adam had survived against incredible odds. Not only survived—but remained true to himself.

It was people like Adam, he reflected, who kept up his faith in original goodness.

LINK TO PART NINETY-FIVE